The tale of king Natto.

First you must know that natto is a very strange fermented bean slime that japanese eat for breakfast - if they have not already rushed to work. It is soya beans gone-off with a lot of slime that you can stretch to about 30cm from the bowel. quite disgusting looking but really addictive after a few weeks here. i love it of course. anyhow, this is the tale of how natto was discovered. there was once a powerful emperor Tamo Dou Fu who ruled japan with a strong hand. he had 3 chief samarais - Shoguns I think they are called. Shogi Mochoto was very sly and clever, manipulative and obedient. Shogi Tamodorobo was very strong, fierce, fearless and disciplined. The third Shogi Gagaping was smelly, lazy and idiotic but the emperor trusted him more than the other two who were ambitious and plotting to take the throne somehow and secretly trying to build their own power basses. Gagaping was not like that: this silly samarai was just lazing all day long.
There is a series of terrible earthquakes and whenever the japanese families sit down to eat the food is shaken off the table and eated by rabbits or discarded because you can never eat off the pristeen floors. the people become famished and restless, they clamour for something to be done about this. The emperor sends out the frist samarai to reason or kill the moster under mount Fuji who is shaking his divine kingdom so unreasonably. On the way the Shogi Mochoto meets a dog-like stinking slimy creature who begs for a small teaspoon of soya sause to mix with his dinner (natto is mixed with soya sause to make it more slimy) the shogi casts the dog-god natto devil away from him and then enters mount fuji and is crushed by the collosal monster under the mountain. The emperor sends Shogi Tamodorogo to slay the monster and he also meets king natto stinking who begs him for a little soya sause. Shogi Tamogo also beats the natto devil away with his stick althougth like the first shogi he had plenty of soya sause to give away. He proceeds to mount fuji and pulls a gun on the monster who is impervious and crushes him ruthlessly. The lazy, smelly Shogi no-good-boyo very reluctantly sets out and meets the natto creature, but since he has a lot of soya sause and it is easier to walk without so much he gladly gives the dog natto fiend some soya sause and they pal out for a bit and he tells the dog about his coming dilema. king natto gives him some soya beans and tells him to put them in his sock and if ever he gets into trouble he should pull them out and they will save him.
He sets off to mount Fuji and is scared shitless by the huge eathquake devil monster but he remembers teh dogs advice and pulls out the beans in his sock which - due to the excellent conditions in that socky environment - have already fermented to an advanced stage and Gagaping throws them at the beast who is tied up in huge spider-like webs of natto-slime. When he is all tied up with natto Shogi Gagaping finishes him off with a fart to the face which does not quite dispatch the monsterous creature but leaves him unconscious. The earthquakes that were rocking Japan don`t altogether stop but become far less frequent. Shogi Gagaping returnes to the emperors palace and is the new stinking hero. However the emperor is furious - you only concussed the monster - you have not stopped the earthquakes all together - you have done a half assed, jerry-built, hash up job! He is secretly jealous of the samarais popularity and disgraced by his lack of personal hygene. Shogi Gagaping is worried and once again pulls out the soya beans which are fantastically-far fermented by now and gives them to the emperor pleading forgiveness. The emperor is even more upset by this idiotic and maloderant gesture but at that very moment an earthquake shakes the court and the natto does not spill from the bowel. It is the new saviour-flavour wonder food. The smelly shogi becomes an even greater hero and his sock is the national tresury - which may remind some readers of that royal devotee to the late king Fatto even more!
In his recent anger the emperor gets a heart attack and has no choice but to make Gagaping the new emperor.* He has no intention of accepting the responsibility and pulls out the natto beans once again which turn into the begging Natto Dog he met on the top of mount fuji. Gagaping gives him the crown so he can continue lazing about.
A golden age of vegan peace dawns on the great island of japan and that is why japanese to this day eat natto every morning to remember their greatest ruler in the history of Japan and to guard against earthquakes knocking their food off the tables. The flag of japan is a giant natto bean on a white sky sometimes with strings of natto slime coming off.
THE END

*The alternative:
The emperor Tamo Dou Fu feels very insecure with his new popular Shogi Gagaping and tres to kill him in the night but Gagaping pulls out the beans once more thinking the emperor has gone mad with hunger and feeds the emperor who is actually a secret anti-vegan and accidently dies from the totaly vegan meal.